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The Five Easiest/Best Jobs in the NFL

August 12, 2009

So we all know that playing in the NFL is a privilege without compare. Boatloads of cash, worldwide fame and you’re getting paid to play in a brilliant sport. But what are the honest-to-God best jobs to have in the NFL? Sure, being Tom Brady or Adrian Peterson must be great, but surely it’s more fun to do precious little and still be an NFL employee?

We here at PaP are going to look at the best jobs in the NFL whose rewards are huge but don’t require much effort, and we’re starting in Indianapolis.

Jim Sorgi

This is perhaps the cushiest job in all of sports. Jim Sorgi, we salute you. You’re backing up a future hall-of-fame QB in Peyton Manning, you’ve got a Super Bowl ring, the coaching staff loves you and you’ve become a worldwide synonym for ‘backup’. Plus, in your (admittedly very limited) playing time, you’ve notched up a career TD-INT ratio of 6-1.

Sorgi has the greatest of all NFL jobs because he gets to hang out with P.Manning and plays for a team with a shit-hot receiving corps. When he does play, he has one of the league’s best organizations cheering him on and no pressure whatsoever. His 2007 contract extension paid him a princely $53,000 per game, and Sorgi, despite never having played a meaningful amount of time, has become a millionaire whilst in the NFL after being a college star at Wisconsin.

If he ever gets to start, his ‘best job in the NFL’ status will be lost, but Jim, we’ll still love ya for your brilliant stint as the best clipboard-holder in all of sports.

Arizona WR Coach John McNulty: lucky bastard.

Arizona WR Coach John McNulty: lucky bastard.

John McNulty

You probably won’t recognize the name John McNulty. You probably won’t even recognize his face. But he has got one of the great NFL jobs. He’s the Wide Receivers coach for the Arizona Cardinals.

Oh yes. He’s the guy who gets to stand on the sideline watching Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin (and now Steve Breaston too) tear defensive backfields apart whilst saying “I taught them that”.

Obviously, the guy’s got some skills as he’s turned Breaston into a 1000-yard receiver, but coaching Fitzgerald and Boldin must be like fishing with dynamite.

“Hey Larry, keep being the best receiver in the league would you? Thanks, keep it up. And Anquan? Continue to physically punish cornerbacks and be one of the premier pass-catchers in the NFL. Got that? Good.”

You’re trying to tell me that this isn’t a sweet gig? McNulty mentors the best WR tandem in the league and enjoyed a Cinderella playoff run last year. Plus, as long as Larry and Anquan keep putting up numbers, he’s got tenure for sure.

John McNulty, many congratulations sir.

Martin Mayhew

Mayhew, seen here on the left, is the new General Manager for the Detroit Lions. Yes, the same Lions who just finished 0-16 and have one of the longest championship droughts in professional football.

So why is this one of the best jobs in the league? Because you’re following on from Matt Millen, a.k.a. perhaps the most unbelievably inept front-office guy in the history of the NFL. If you can SOMEHOW manage to be worse than a guy who drafted Charles Rogers with the second overall pick, you have to be ridiculously bad at your job.

Mayhew has inherited the worst team in the NFL, sure, but he’s got a minimum of two seasons to turn it around, during which time he can pretty much do whatever he wants, knowing that things can’t get worse.

A team where nothing more can really go wrong, the absolute support of a huge fanbase and two years’ job security? Sounds like an awesome job to me.

Al Davis

Al Davis, looking a bit corpse-y.

Al Davis, looking a bit corpse-y.

Al Davis has got a job that most could only dream of. He owns and is heavily involved with an NFL team to which he has brought four championships (one AFL, three NFL). His draft practice is the most widely criticized in all of sports, yet because he OWNS the team, he can do (and does) whatever he damn well pleases.

Davis will die before he leaves the Raiders’ front office, and despite the team’s recent suckiness, he’s still got a huge amount of fan support not to mention a heckuva lot of clout with his fellow owners and the league itself.

Still regarded as one of the league’s most powerful owners, as well as one of the most hands-on, Davis has got a team that he’ll never sell and he can treat as pretty much his personal plaything.

Davis can be as crazy as he wants and he’ll never get fired, and if he feels upset, he can go and cry into his three Lombardi trophies. Pretty sweet.

Larry Izzo

Larry Izzo has never really been a consistent starter at the linebacker position, spending most of his career as a special teamer and playing for three different NFL teams in his ten-plus seasons.

So far, not great right? But oh, did we mention he played for the Patriots from 2001-08, earning three championship rings in the process? Yeah, that was OK.

Izzo played for the dynasty of the 2000s and earned his three rings whilst only having to play a maximum of about ten plays of every game! The Pats were a dominant force and Izzo got to enjoy all their success while spending minimal time on the field.

In addition, Izzo has been to the Pro Bowl three times as a special teamer, visiting Hawaii in ’00, ’02 and ’04. He was beloved by the Pats’ front office and was only let go years after they had cemented themselves as the best team of the last decade. Now, I know special teams is a dangerous craft which yields a lot of injuries, but Izzo, who now plays for the Jets, managed to get the best of all these jobs.

He played under the best coach of recent times and despite playing a small percentage of every game’s plays has the terms ‘three-time Pro Bowler’ and ‘three-time NFL champ’ on his resume. If that’s not an amazing job, I don’t know what is.

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